ur marriage has been a wholesome experience filled with numerous high moments and penetrating challenges. These high moments and challenges relate to communication issues from the birth of our children to their graduation from college. These high moments also included our involvement in each other’s graduation from college and graduate studies as well as my husband’s several vocations.

It is reassuring to state that my husband respected me as a full partner in our marriage. By the same token, I gave him my full support in his successful vocational pursuits. It is essential that couples learn to cooperate as equal partners in terms of the talents and abilities that each brings to the marriage.

We constantly arranged to spend time alone which afforded us the opportunity to nourish our marriage with romantic experiences necessary to survive the monotony that creeps into all personal relationships. We also used these moments alone to make plans for our future and that of our children.

We have made efforts to understand each other prior to reaching conclusions regarding what is being said in our conversations or in our non-verbal communication. I do not mean that there were no misunderstandings, but that every effort was made to heal any misunderstandings through factual communication and heartfelt and loving listening.

Sometimes in my husband’s deep mental struggles concerning problems on his job, he always knew that I was always by his side to give emotional and spiritual support.

Trust is most essential to a successful marriage. I always felt that my husband was honest and reliable. I had no reasons to doubt his integrity and good intentions for our marriage and our children. He never questioned my faithfulness nor my love for him; neither have I doubted his love for me.

Both of us resolved prior to our wedding to take our marriage vows seriously. We felt that divorce was not an alternative to solving any problems that often develop in marriages. Rather, we resolved that we would remain together “until death do
we part.”

Our home has been a place of joy, fun, learning, character formation and family worship. Our family worship was reinforced, strengthened and inspired by our attendance and participation at public worship and gatherings.

ur 50-plus years of marriage have been made possible and fulfilling by several factors. First, there was genuine love for each other. This love was more than the sensual or sexual aspects of a successful marriage. It was a love energized by deep respect for one another. This respect led us to consider each other’s views in making decisions regarding financial matters and in our overall planning for our future. We, therefore, agreed not to take each other for granted.

This mutual respect mentioned above readily grew out of the religious orientation that we both brought to our marriage. This orientation enabled us to revere each other as “sacred” human beings — a sacredness that comes from our existence as creatures of a Divine Creator. We felt that we sin against God when we disrespect each other since we came into being by God’s Divine Mandate.

Secondly, this theological orientation helped us not to see each other as an it or a thing or object to be manipulated or used for one’s own ego satisfaction. Rather, we learned to view each other as persons equipped with brainpower, and emotions fully capable of making effective contributions to the marriage.

Thirdly, we learned the importance of fully “listening” to each
other before rushing to conclusions about what the other is seeking to communicate.

There is always the danger of responding to one’s own mistaken perceptions of what is being said rather than what the marriage partner is really seeking to convey. Further, it is also healthy to allow the other to share her/his true feelings without becoming defensive. This requires “listening” not only with our heads, but also “listening” with our “hearts.”

Fourthly, we gradually learned early the importance of taking time off in a pleasant surrounding — to be alone with each other. Sometimes a dinner, or later, the blessing of an affordable cruise, or a night in a hotel, or simply a breakfast at our favorite restaurant would suffice. These moments alone enabled us to nurture our relationship, put misunderstandings in proper perspective and reinforce our romantic feelings for one another.

Finally, we resolved to engage in family worship with our children and with each other. Family worship served to remind us that it takes more than human love to keep a marriage wholesome; it requires a Divine Process and Presence beyond the human.