ssuming that love is the basis of a good marriage, there are ways to overcome the trials and sometime hardships of a good, lasting marriage.

Try to see the partner’s point of view without making him/her
feel guilty.

Learn to compromise without either partner feeling he/she got a raw deal. When you love someone, you don’t want to hurt him/her.

Your partner is not a mind reader. Say what’s on your mind.

Discuss possible solutions to disagreements. Sometimes one partner may have to yield completely. Know when to let it pass and when to pursue a solution.

Do things you know will make your partner happy such as kindness to his/her family. Overlook what you perceive to be a slight (providing this is not all one-sided). Help with a problem, project, chore, etc. Pitch in.

Listen to your partner, his/her feelings, thoughts, and ideas with undivided attention. The T.V. can wait.

Show interest in everyday mundane things when your partner needs you to. Life isn’t always exciting or interesting. Be aware of each other’s needs and try to satisfy them.

Show appreciation. Praise your partner. Make him/her feel important in your life. Develop a relationship where kind criticism can be given — no offense taken.

Arguments should not be aimed at hurting your partner. Remember this is someone you love.

Meanness, unkindness and vindictiveness have no place in marriage.

Be a loving parent to your children. Discuss disagreements about them privately. Children should not have to take sides.

Allow family fun time frequently.

Discuss money matters and plan together for spending and saving. Compromise.

A sense of humor is a definite asset. Save the anger for important issues. Learn what is important and what is trivia. So your wife threw out the bean salad by mistake. Handle the trivia. Discuss important issues. Anger can learn to be controlled.

lements For A Long Marriage

I suppose, if a couple marries when very young, they don’t really think about staying married for over 50 years. I certainly didn’t; I didn’t really think that I would live long enough to consider it a possibility. Today people don’t seem to marry until they approach middle age. Maybe that’s their insurance that the marriage won’t last over 50 years.

In any event, I believe the necessary ingredients for a long-lasting marriage are few.

First, and perhaps foremost, the individuals must be willing to
compromise, in other words willing to give up the instant gratification on which they may have been brought up and have gotten used to. After all, what’s sauce for the goose is not always — and sometimes infrequently — sauce for the gander.

Second, is an unwavering respect for each other as a person. This helps to insure that when emotional conflicts arise, and they are unavoidable unless the couple is a pair of robots, they will either be resolved or they will fade in importance. It also helps to insure that closeness and affection will grow with time.

Third, and last is having children and making them feel that they are loved and supported. Having children provides delicious and powerful glue after they reach adulthood and are having a family of their own. This is particularly evident when you see your children making theirs feel loved and supported.